Secrets are Lies
by KimberleyIonaSmith
Summary: Discipline fic, because I like them. Set after Breaking Dawn, with Bella having a go at teaching a class.
1. Chapter 1

"Fine," Jasper said irritably, "but don't blame me when you get your ass whipped."

I just about managed to refrain from wincing. I was pretty sure Bella was never going to find out about any of this, but that didn't stop Jasper's words giving me a nervous twinge. My ass did not like any talk of whippings and my toes curled at the suggestion of getting into trouble with Bella again.

Not that I frequently get into trouble . . .

Even when I do, Bella is pretty soft on me. The rest of the family believe that she's far too soft. To be honest, I suspect they're right. But, there have been a few grim times when I've messed up enough to anger even Bella to the point of a spanking. Those are not my favourite memories. Though, they are not my least favourite either, at least when Bella's mad at me she's still there. All of my least favourite memories are of Bella-less times. I can handle anything but being alone again. Bella loves me and she's not going anywhere. I can handle a spanking, if I absolutely have to, and - all things taken into consideration - I probably don't. So, I managed not to wince at Jasper's annoying warning.

Anyway, it hardly mattered. I may have controlled my facial expressions, but Jasper still noticed the emotional cringe.

He gave me another one of his elder brother serious stares and said, "if you just confess straight away, she'll probably go easy on you. Lying makes it a whole lot worse."

I hate it when he assumes the role of my elder brother - which is, apparently, an advisory role, with an unflinching character assessment thrown in for free. He gets this world-weary look on his face, as if he's seen so much, and knows so much, that he's built up a massive store of hard won wisdom. Sure, he's a bit older than me, he's seen some stuff. But, I'm the telepath. I'm the one who knows what everyone sees. He knows that I don't want his advice, what makes him think that I need it?

It's probably because I look so absurdly young. No matter how many years pass, my face still wears only seventeen of them. Since Bella and Renesme came along, it's become ever more ridiculous. Bella, though she was only a year older than I was at her change, was a mother, a fully grown woman. These days she can look any age from eighteen to thirty (though, I know - and Bella doesn't, and, God willing, never will - some spiteful thoughts about plastic surgery fly around when she plays towards the top end of that). Whereas I can never look like a man, I am forever a boy. My daughter ages, and I continue to look like a child. Renesme's rapid aging is slowing, but nonetheless she will overtake me soon. How can I expect her to take me seriously then: her child father? How can I ever expect anyone to take me seriously?

But Jasper is not a human, I've never lied to him about my true age, he knows exactly how old I am. He has no reason, and no right, to look at me like that, as if I'm still a child.

"What would you know?" I snapped, "it's not even possible to lie to Alice." Alice keeps a close eye on Jasper. She sees everything he ever does, hell, she sees everything he ever even seriously considers doing. There's absolutely no point in him trying to keep things from her. Bella, on the other hand, has plenty of blind spots, especially when it comes to me. Which is lucky, really, she certainly wouldn't be so adoring if she knew everything I get up to.

"And," I concluded, "I have no intention of lying to Bella. I will simply not mention a few things that would be of no interest to her."

"Keeping secrets is the same as lying," Jasper said. He really does not know when to let a subject drop.

He was starting to look a little bit too worried, and I didn't like it at all. It wasn't what he was saying that was making me nervous now, it was more what he was thinking.

 _Secrets cause serious trouble, which probably goes for me too,_ he thought, _I should tell Bella myself. Maybe she'd still go easy on Edward. He's going to be furious with me, though._ _  
_

 _"_ I don't recall asking for your opinion," I told him, "I am not going to discuss this with Bella, and nor are you."

 _Aren't I?_ Jasper thought to himself. I may be a bit nervous about upsetting Bella, but poor Jasper is petrified of Alice. Honestly, I don't know why she ever bothers to scold him at all. Jasper doesn't need scolding. He comes pre-punished, as it were. He's already suffered more than anyone else I know. Plus, he adores Alice to such an extent that he hates himself when she's angry. She never needs to say a word, just her feelings dropping below perfect happiness is enough to torture Jasper.

 _Alice would expect me to tell Bella._ He decided. _I'm sorry if it upsets you, Edward, but I'm going with what Alice wants._ _Never steered me wrong before._

If I was going to get him to keep his mouth shut, I was going to need a bit of persuasion on my side. Something that terrified Jasper even more than getting into trouble with Alice. Fortunately, I have just the trick. There is one way of making Jasper terrified of me. Deep down, he still believes that I could get him and Alice kicked out. All I need to do is hint at their place in family being the slightest bit precarious, and he'll sit and beg on command.

"Do you really think it's your place to interfere?" I asked.

Jasper was the one cringing now.

 _Is he pulling rank on me? Is he warning me? Alice wants us to be Cullens. Edward could make that impossible. They don't need us. The coven's already large, too large, maybe?_

 _If Carlisle decides it's too big, he won't offload his own creations. Alice and I aren't bound to him, not by venom._

 _Alice couldn't stand it. She wanted this so much. When we were searching for them, she was so . . . eager. I can't let her yearn like that again._

 _It doesn't sound like a request._

 _Maybe this is how he gives orders. Maybe this is what orders sound like in a family._

Since I was in the family - well, I guess 'coven' would be more apt, if I was going to start issuing commands - before Jasper, he still considers me to be Carlisle's second in command, Jasper's superior. And one thing that Jasper's early life has done is train him to obey superiors, at all times, without question. So, yes, maybe I mentioned his 'place' with the certainty that it would awaken his spirit of obedience.

I didn't answer his thoughts. I am definitely not supposed to take advantage of Jasper's old fears about his position in the family to force him to obey me. But, so long as I don't say anything out loud, I figure I have plausible deniability. He can't prove that I knew what he was thinking. After all, I might have been giving him his privacy, deliberately ignoring his thoughts, he can't prove that I'm listening. I haven't actually said anything out loud, nor has he. Even if Alice is watching - was watching us, before this happened - she wouldn't have seen anything incriminating. I could have meant merely that he shouldn't interfere in my marriage.

"Are you going to interfere?" I asked.

Jasper stood up a bit straighter. His hands somehow made their way to his sides. "No," he said out loud, he'd been a Cullen long enough to keep the 'sir' inside his head.

"Good," I said, "then we'll leave it at that."

 _Alice is never going to understand this._ Jasper was thinking. _I shouldn't have tried to talk to him._

"Goodbye, Jasper," I said.

Jasper knew a dismissal when he heard one. He left me to it then.

Jasper wouldn't be talking, that was certain. So, as long as I could play it cool and not make Bella suspicious, everything would be fine.

After all, I was barely doing anything at all. I had unlocked a couple of doors. I might be damaging a few students' bags at school tomorrow. Hardly the crime of the century. Hardly a big deal, even if I did get caught. And I was clearly not getting caught. There was no way anyone would ever know it was me. Well, Jasper knew, but he doesn't count. He's not going to talk.


	2. Chapter 2

Alright, so Bella did find out.

And now I've got a week's worth of detention, which is no problem. Detention is an attempt to punish teenagers with boredom and restrictions, but I have a high tolerance for both of those by now. An hour of boredom is nothing. Though, I'm also going to have to explain myself to Bella when I get home, which could be a bit trickier. Plus, tonight there's going to be a family meeting, which is definitely going to be unpleasant.

I really wish there was someone other than myself that I could blame for all this.

I could try blaming Bella. It would be satisfying if this was all her fault.

Why did she go along with this absurd set up, anyway? I understand that she was interested in trying out teaching. Eternal life is long, we all need to shake things up a bit. She looks too old now to attend school next to me, but, as a teacher, she can fit in and we can still see each other every day. Of course, I know that she's teaching so she can see more of me. Only a fool would say that was blameworthy, obviously it's generous and loving.

And she asked me, more than a few times, if I was sure. She worried about how I would feel, her teaching, me seated in yet another high school class. I told her it was fine. I made a great effort to assure her that I didn't mind. It can hardly be held against her that, after all my efforts at persuading, she let me persuade her.

She didn't have to chose Wuthering Heights as the class novel, after all. She knows my opinion of that wretched book.

Of course, I suppose it could also be said that I know her opinion equally well. She loves the story, she always has done, and she has every right to chose to study it. She even says that it reminds her of us. So, really, in a way, chosing it was a romantic gesture.

She did warn me that she was choosing it. She gave me every chance to choose a different class. I was the one who insisted on signing up to take Bella's English Literature class, even though I knew which book she'd picked.

I signed up to study a book I didn't like. Then I stole and distributed the exam questions so that she'd be forced to change book, even though I knew she was excited about teaching it.

Great, it's not Bella's fault, and I am a heel.

Well, how about my class mates?

I laid the exam sheets out on Bella's desk. I wasn't the one who started passing them round. I wasn't the last one holding them. It wasn't my bag that they fell out of, right in front of Bella. There was no way anyone could have known it was me, if they'd all just kept their mouths shut.

Wasn't the root of the trouble, the way that they all started playing detective, trying to work out who'd done it?

And if one of them, just one, had been a halfway decent liar, then Bella might have suspected them and not me.

Every one of them looked at the papers, then - when Bella asked - every one of them lied about it. And every single one of them lied terribly. It was embarrassing. It was horribly obvious that they were lying.

If anyone of them had done a half decent job of lying about looking at the papers, then Bella might not have believed them when they also denied taking them.

As it was, how could she be in any doubt, with all those fresh-faced innocents and me in the room? Everyone denied stealing the papers, well, of course they did. But, why did they all have to look so obviously innocent?

They are innocent, I suppose. And, they are kids, so I can't really blame them for looking like it. And, realistically, who was going to believe that a human child could get through two locked doors, open a locked filing cabinet, locate the right file, and get out again, in under two minutes. Bella was bound to know it was me, I really should have thought that through more carefully.

No, it wasn't my classmates' fault that I did too good a job of covering my tracks. I've been attending high school for long enough to know how to sneak around like a believable human teenager. I should have done a better job.

No, it must be someone else's fault.

What about Jasper? He was there.

Yes, but he didn't tell on me. He kept his mouth shut and his eyes innocent. Almost as believable as one of those kids.

Even when Bella asked him - a little too pointedly I thought - if he happened to know who had taken the papers, Jasper shook his head and said 'no, ma'am.' He hated lying to her, and I knew he would, but he did it for me. Well, maybe not for me so much as for fear of what he thinks I might - but realistically I never could - do.

Can I blame him for being so easy to manipulate? After all these years, how can he still believe there's any risk at all? Doesn't he understand what family means?

But, then, perhaps the problem is that he does understand our family only too well. He knows - though I don't think anyone else even suspects - that I really do pull rank on him at times. It's rare, of course, but it's not never. I guess he believes that I can give him commands because sometimes I do.

No, I can't really blame Jasper. Which is very annoying, because that means this is all my own fault. And that is not going to be any kind of comfort when I'm getting scolded tonight. And I am definitely going to be in trouble over this.

I behaved like a brat, drew attention to the family and manipulated Jasper. Though, there's still an outside chance that nobody will find out about that last one.

Bella said she'd talk to me right after school, and her tone definitely meant that talking would only be the beginning. I am in big trouble, I am pretty certain of that. Being scolded by my own wife is humiliating. But, it's Bella, so she won't be too hard on me.

On balance, it's definitely better to see Bella before the family meeting. If I turn up there, unpunished, I'll be risking having that remedied in front of the whole family.

As it is, Bella wants me over at her place this afternoon, so she can yell at me in private. It's not exactly going to be dignified, hearing my wife list my faults and trying to apologise in just the right sincerely humble tone. But, it's a darn sight better than getting the full Cullen family scolding at a family meeting, It's a very special kind of humiliation to sit at a table while your whole family takes in in turns to tear a strip off you.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella has a study in her apartment. There's a substantial hardwood bookcase covering two walls, I'm quite proud of that, as a matter of fact, it turned out really well. And Bella loves it. She says that she wants to bring it with us when we move, which isn't her best idea. I built it to fit the space here, in this apartment. It won't look quite as perfect in another room. Besides Emmett would never stop teasing if we bring it, he already stuck a photo on the refrigerator, as if I were a child with his first drawing. He thinks it's adorable of Bella to be so proud of my first woodwork project. Just because he's been making furniture since he was human and I've never shown an interest until Bella needed a bookcase, doesn't mean he needs to be so patronising.

In front of the bookcase is a matching desk. Admittedly, Emmett knocked that together, and he does have quite the talent for these things. He's carved lion's paws at the bottom of the feet, and swan's wings arch up the hold the surface of the desk. It is a lovely design, saturated with personal meaning, and I know Bella is very fond of it.

On her side of the desk, Bella has one of those weird, modern, ladder like stools, which is meant to be good for your back. She hardly needs to worry about the state of her back, not these days, but I think she enjoys the fact that she can now slide gracefully in and out of the absurd contraption when, as a human, she would have fallen over or got stuck.

On the opposite side of the desk - my side, for this discussion at least - the chair is more traditional. It's solid, and covered with a lovely blue leather. I know that this is a comfortable chair, I've sat in it many times, going over paperwork with Bella, discussing books with Bella, I've even sat here teaching Renessmee to write. Today, however, I'm not sure that I ought to be sitting. So I stand by the chair and wait for Bella to start the conversation.

At school, she was very much in charge, she had no trouble calling me out in front of the class. She was very cool when she handed me my detention slip. But, this is home, and she isn't used to being an authority figure here. She looks flustered.

"Do you want to sit down?" she asks, and it sounds like a genuine question, she isn't sure of what to do with me yet.

"How do you want me?" I ask her, "will it be easier if I sit down?"

She sighs, "it's not easy, whatever you do. Though, if you stand up you look like a student called into the headmistress' office." She grimaces.

I try an apologetic face, "I should probably stand, then" I say, clasping my hands behind my back and standing up a bit straighter.

"Why did you do it?" Bella asks, "was there some sort of risk? Did Alice have a vision, or something? Were you preventing me from attacking someone or revealing too much?"

Oh, blast. This is going to be worse than I thought.

Bella assumed that I had a good reason for mucking about. I messed up her class, and she immediately jumped to the conclusion that I must have some clever plan that was somehow saving the family from discovery.

Up until this point, I'd felt nervous about being in trouble, and regretted getting caught. Now I felt guilty. Bella's unmerited trust in me made my betrayal even more obvious. Right now I would prefer to be standing in front of my whole family. At least none of them were under any illusions about me being a decent, responsible guy. I wished I could be scolded by someone who had never held me in high esteem.

"No," I say quickly, before she can think of any other ways in which what I did could be anything other than childish and silly, "it wasn't anything like that. I was being an idiot."

Bella - why does she have such a high opinion of me? - is confused. "Did you think that I might slip up, and then realise that you were wrong? That's not idiotic, Edward, we have to be careful. If you don't think I'm ready to be around so many people, then I take that very seriously. It's not idiotic, at all, you're taking care of me, like you always do."

How could I have missed that? This was Bella's first time in a classroom, surrounded by humans, since her change. How could I have failed to notice her concerns?

"Please, stop," I said, looking down at my feet to avoid her trusting eyes. "Please stop saying these things. You don't know what I am, what I've done. I was just messing about because I didn't like the book. There's no secret explanation, no good reason. I'm just a selfish, inconsiderate cheat, and I don't deserve your trust."

"Well, that's a relief," Bella said.

How does she always manage to surprise me? That was the last thing I would have expected her to say. I looked up, trying to read her thoughts in her face, but, kindly, she lifted her shield and let me see them in her mind.

 _I wasn't going to hurt anyone. I wasn't even going to say anything stupid. I really was in control, and Edward didn't see anything that made him doubt me. I really can do this! I really am teaching a class and it's all going fine._

I wished that I could share in her celebration. But, I hadn't been doing just fine. I couldn't join in in her pride at doing well, when I'd messed up so badly.

"So, you stole the exam questions, just because you wanted me to change the book," she said slowly.

I nodded.

"Edward, that was mean."

 _Why would he ruin something when he knew how much I was looking forward to it?_

 _He winced. He heard me, that's . . ._

Quickly she snapped her shield back in place and, for once, I was almost pleased to be shut out. Hearing her disappointment, followed by her gracious concern for me, it was an education in humility. Edward Masen, you do not deserve this lovely woman.

"It didn't work," Bella says, "I'm not dropping the book. I'm going to write another exam paper."

I sigh. I don't care about the book, not really, not the way I care about disappointing Bella. The book didn't matter, after all. Why did it take me until now to realise? Why didn't I get this proper perspective before it was too late?

"You can leave the class," Bella says now, sympathetically, "you're going to have to serve the detentions, either way, I can't change that. But, you can switch to another class, mediaeval history, maybe?"

"I'm sorry," I say, "I really do want to attend your class. I just . . . it was silly."

"It was risky, too," Bella says. "This is the first time I've tried teaching and I thought you were there to support me. What would have happened if I'd really needed your help? Would you have been distracted by your own plotting?"

"I . . ." I was about to loudly deny it. My scheme had been very simple, it was hardly a distraction. But, then I thought again, I hadn't noticed Bella's nerves, had I? I hadn't realised that she thought I was sitting there, watching, in case she attacked someone. If I had missed that, then I could, in theory, have missed something else. "I don't know," I said instead.

Bella sighed, "that's not good," she said.

"I know," this was far worse than being scolded, Bella was disappointed in me, not angry. And it felt like my punishment was going to hurt us both.

"There's going to be a family meeting," she said.

I didn't trust myself to answer. The family meeting was going to be horrible. I would have to sit with my whole family and admit to not only what I'd done, but my reasons for it. They would be appalled.

"I think everyone is going to ask for you to be . . ." Bella hesitated, not really wanting to say the word.

I felt embarrassed too, but at least I deserved it, "they'll vote that I deserve a punishment," I finished for her. It wasn't a lot, but I could save her having to say the words, "I'll be getting a spanking."

Bella looked down at the table and fiddled with a pen, as if we were talking about her being in trouble and not me.

"What do you want to do?" she asked.

I'm confused. What is she asking? I don't have any choices right now. I obviously deserve a punishment, and everyone knows it. Is she suggesting that we run away?

She frowns at my silence and lifts her shield again.

I see images all over the place, Bella really doesn't want to put this into words, not even in her own mind. She's imagining how the meeting will go, picturing Carlisle calmly insisting on my receiving 'a consequence'. Then she tries something else, imagines us arriving at the meeting together, she sees us telling Carlisle that it's been dealt with.

Her image of me is rather too smiling, I think. If I walk into this family meeting with that grin, I'm going to get several offers to have it knocked off my face.

Finally, she throws up one last image. Me and her, in this room, and she's standing over me while I bend over the desk.

As I realise what she is so hesitant about suggesting, I see my own jaw clench from Bella's perspective and she closes her mind to me again.

"Sorry," she says, once more feeling bad for making me uncomfortable.

I shake my head, "don't be, please. This is all my fault. I understand that this is really uncomfortable for you to talk about. I am sorry for putting you in this position. Just to clarify, are you asking me whether I would choose to be punished before the family meeting?"

She nods, but doesn't make eye contact with me.

I swallow. "Yes," I whisper, in a very small voice, "I would appreciate it, if you would deal with it right now, before I face everyone."


	4. Chapter 4

"Edward, I think what you did was serious," Bella tells the table. "Are you sure that you want me to be the one to . . ." she trails off again.

"Please," I say, knowing that I sound young and scared.

"Alright," she says, "wait there."

I stand in my place, my hands behind my back, waiting for my sentence. But, Bella slips from the room.

She doesn't go far, I can hear her still from where I'm standing.

"Hello, well, yes . . . I was calling to ask you for something. I need a . . . yes, that's exactly . . . of course, the top drawer? . . . Thank you, Alice."

Somehow, Bella talking to Alice right now makes me feel even more nervous.

"What? No, that doesn't . . alright, Alice . . . he isn't . . . Fine. But, I do wish that sometimes you would be content to have just one conversation at a time."

Despite the seriousness of my situation, my lips curve into a brief smile.

"Thank you, Alice," Bella says, winding the conversation down, "see you soon."

Bella returns to her study, and walks over to a cabinet under the window.

She opens it and takes something out, but I can't see what yet. That brief smile is long gone.

While she's over there, she draws the curtains. I gulp as my body realises why she's ensuring our privacy. I know that I'm infinitely better off taking my punishment now, from Bella, than I would be facing the wrath of everyone else. Carlisle and Jasper, especially, tend to have pretty severe ideas of suitable consequences. Nonetheless, actually seeing Bella drawing the curtains makes my stomach flip. She's giving us privacy because she's going to spank me, right now. I'm getting a spanking, right now.

She turns back and starts walking towards me, and I get my first glimpse of what's in her hands.

I put my hands up in front of me and I move fast. Suddenly the wall is against my back.

I move before I fully articulate, even in my own mind, what I can see. Bella's carrying a cane.

She's holding it with both hands, flexing it experientially as she walks.

A whimper comes out of my mouth before I have time to close my lips. The noise attracts Bella's attention. She looks at me, and her eyes are very gentle.

"If you would rather someone else do this, that's absolutely fine," she says, "you still have time to change your mind."

I want to answer but instead I whimper again. I sound like a puppy.

Bella waits patiently, she even stops flexing that thing she's carrying.

I take a deep breath, press my back hard against the wall and answer her. "I don't want anyone else to do it," I say, "but do you have to use that?"

Bella sighs, "what do you think, Edward? Do you think I should just give you a couple of smacks with my hand and call it quits? Do you think that's what you deserve?"

Obviously not. Obviously I deserve to be thrashed. I was deplorably selfish and it was risky. But, then I deserve to have her leave me because she's fed up with being married to a perpetual child. Luckily, Bella doesn't give me what I deserve. I deserve to be spurned, to be left alone, to be hated by anyone as pure and good as her. But that isn't what she does. She loves me and stays with me and supports me. She doesn't even make me face my family's idea of proper discipline, she is stepping in to protect me from even the minor harshness of Carlisle. Even now, when she should probably just order me to bend over and take the severe beating I deserve, she is patiently waiting for me to be ready.

"You never give me what I deserve," I mumble.

Bella looks confused, "if you want to change your mind, and just sort all this out at the family meeting, that's totally fine."

Yeah, I think, that would be totally fine. Right up until someone hears that you have this thing in your room and decides that a nice public caning is just the trick to make me behave.

"No, I . . ." I have to hold onto the wall, I have a sudden urge to throw myself on the floor and beg her to forgive me, and I don't want to embarrass us both by giving in to it. "I just wasn't expecting it. But, I want you to be the one to discipline me, I do."

We stand for a little while, looking at each other.

I'm trying to screw my courage to the sticking place. Bella is chewing her lip.

Finally, she says, "shall we get on with it, then?"

I nod and try not to tremble, "where do you want me?" I ask her.

She lifts her shield and shows me a picture of myself bent over her desk.

I nod tightly and get into position. I fold my arms on the top of the desk and lay my head on top of them. The height of the desk means that my ass is arched up taught, in the ideal position to really sting when Bella thrashes me. Did Emmett consider this when he made this desk? Did he guess that I would one day be bent over his desk like this? Did he take my height into account when he carved this beautiful piece of furniture, ensuring that my doomed backside would be subject to the optimum amount of pain when Bella saw the need to inflict some?

"Thank you," Bella whispers.

Then her mind replays the picture of me in position and compares it to what I am doing. It's a sort of spot the difference, a horrible sort of spot the difference. She's too embarrassed to say it, but she wants me bare-assed over the desk.

I want to cry. "Please," I say, and the crying that I'm not doing is clearly audible behind my words, "is that absolutely . . ."

"I want to see what I'm doing," Bella explains.

Of course, this would be about her consideration. She's afraid of hurting me - no, that's not quite accurate, she knows that she has to hurt me; she's afraid of hurting me too much - she loves me in so many ways that I don't deserve. I don't look at her. I cannot bear her to see my face right now. I force my pants and underpants down to my feet and get back over the desk so I can hide in the crook of my elbow.

"Thank you," Bella says again.

I clench my teeth together tightly.

There's a whistling sound followed by a loud crack. I wait for the blossoming pain. But, nothing happens, I can't feel a thing.

For a second, I can't understand it. Why didn't it hurt? What happened?

Then I realise that Bella struck the side of the desk. It was an experimental swish, not aimed at me at all.

"All right," she says now, "ready?"

I don't trust my voice now. I just nod and bury my face deeper into my arms.

The whistling sound comes again, followed by the - argh! This was not a test! The searing, horrible pain in one line right across my backside. It feels like she's cut me in half. There's a sharp cracking noise as well, but that's completely overwhelmed by the pain.

Then I hear the whistle again and it takes every bit of self control not to leap up and run.

The second strike falls just above the first, and the sting surprises me again. Did she hit me harder this time? Is that thing electric or something? How is it stinging so badly?

The pain doesn't exactly fade, the two stripes continue to ache, they throb like a sort of heart beat. But I know that the next strike is going to feel even worse.

The whistling sound makes me tense, even though I know that tensing up will make it hurt more. The third line is the lowest yet, right where my thighs meet my buttocks. I'm going to feel a reminder of this pain every time I sit. I wonder if that has occurred to Bella. Every day when I sit in her class, on one of those unforgiving wooden chairs, I'm going to be fiercely reminded of what I get for messing around in class. It's certainly going to make detention a bit more of a punishment. An extra hour sitting down, doesn't sound like such an easy sentence now.

Another whistle, that's one of the things I hate about being punished like this: that awful sense of anticipation, waiting for the crack, hearing it coming. I hate other things too, I hate the impersonal nature of it. I hate that there's a thing between me and Bella. I hate that she owns something purely for the purpose of disciplining me. It's as though she saw this - or something like this - was bound to happen, I was bound to misbehave sooner or later.

The crack comes, and it crosses the existing lines, creating a new level of pain at the points of intersection. I gasp.

Bella hears me and pauses.

She lays her empty hand on the small of my back and says, "you're doing well, sweetie. It'll be over soon."

There's no way I can form words. If I open my mouth right now I'm going to howl like a wounded wolf (or like a wolf who's just missed out on the last ice cream sandwich, that always causes a proper soulful howl). But I don't want Bella to think I am ungrateful for her reassurance.

Keeping my mouth tightly closed I hum my thanks.

Bella strokes my back again.

"Do you want to take a break?" She asks softly.

Of course I don't want to take a break. I want this to end and any break, even this short pause, prolongs the awfulness.

I try shaking my head, but I'm not sure Bella understands me. With my face hidden in my arm, it just looks like I'm trembling. She rubs my back and sighs.

I have to speak.

I open my mouth, and whine, not like a wolf, even, like a weak cub.

I gulp air and struggle to get my tongue under control.

"Please," I stutter, "please, please, don't stop. Just . . ." I sob softly, "get this over with."

Bella takes a breath.

"Of course," she says, "I understand, we'll get this finished. Just three more."

I clench my teeth again. Three more. How can she say 'just'?

Another whistle, another sharp diagonal, cutting right across those three first lines. I manage to keep my mouth shut this time.

"Two more," she says softly.

I straighten my shoulders a little, try to prepare myself. There isn't really enough time.

The whistle comes back. What is it exactly? No normal cane would survive contact with a vampire, especially not when wielded with Bella's level of strength. It must be exceptionally flexible and strong. Some kind of metal, maybe?

The crack draws one new line, discovers a fresh uninjured strip of flesh, and sears into it.

My legs are shaking.

"Last one," Bella whispers, as if she thinks this will make me feel better.

It doesn't.

I know that this pain is going to remain for a long time. The end of this beating is only the beginning of my punishment. When the strikes are over, when the shock fades, the pain will blossom into its full, hideous glory.

One last whistle, one last crack, right on top of the first line, right on top of my sore, miserable, whipped backside.

I howl.

Then it's over. Bella drops the cane and I hear it hit the floor with a ridiculously soft thwack. How can this awful implement just drop to the ground so quietly, when it has been hitting my backside with such explosive force?

Bella is by my side and wrapping herself around me before I even think about how to stand. Her hair falls on my neck as she leans in to kiss my cheeks. She covers me with kisses, from my chin up to my eyes, as if she was trying to kiss away my non existent tears.

"I'm sorry," I stutter out between gargling breaths, I'm not sure if Bella could possibly make out my intended words through the gulping, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." It comes out broken and strangled by choking sobs, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

She rubs my back and shoulders, pressing herself against my side, giving me an overdose of soft, loving contact.

I ought to be thanking her for my discipline, promising better behaviour in future, bowing my head and accepting my chastisement. Instead, I lean into her and let her stroke away my shaking. I know that I belong back on the other side of the desk, listening to a final scolding, or standing with my nose in a corner, contemplating my behaviour with the inspiration of a stinging rear end. But, none of that is Bella's style.

"Hush," she says, "it's over," she whispers over my pathetic babble, "just breathe now."

I don't exactly need to breathe. But the rhythm is soothing. I try to slow my breaths to the rhythm of Bella's hand.

She couldn't bear to scold me once I'm hurt. She couldn't send me to a corner or listen to me submit to her. Bella loves me so much more than I deserve. She's here for me, even now, especially now, holding me, soothing me, trying to help me recover from my punishment.

Her kindness seems to bring out the child in me. I find it hard to stop sobbing. Bella's pity bringing out my own self pity.

"Oh, Edward " she says at last, softly, almost breaking into sobs of her own, "I am so sorry for doing that to you. I know I was too harsh. I'm sorry. I hurt you."

For Bella's sake I need to pull myself together.

"You weren't," I whisper. "You weren't too harsh, love."

She runs her fingers through my hair, and I lean towards her hand, wanting more of her touch.

Bella notices my movement, and her caresses increase in confidence. She guides me into a standing position, pausing when I whimper at the way movement reignights the pain.

Finally, we're both stood up, though I'm leaning onto Bella's shoulder, with my face hidden against the side of her neck, breathing her in.

She holds me tight and leans down to kiss my neck.

"Are you alright?" She asks.

I think about this. I am safe and loved and held, so, yes, I am basically alright. But, I also feel utterly crushed by her punishment, I'm finding it hard to even imagine looking her in the eye ever again. I am sore and very very sorry.

"Not really," I admit.

Bella sighs, I know that she feels guilty, and my pathetic behaviour is making that worse. I need to do something better, be better, I need to start giving her back some of the support she's given me.

"I am sorry " I say, then I carry on quickly, before Bella thinks that I've started to babble again, "I made a series of poor choices and forced you to punish me. I regret what I did, and that's the point of punishment. So, I'm not alright, I have a lesson to learn. But, I will be alright, because you're here and you love me enough to give me what I need, even when it's not what either of us really want."

"You need to get dressed," she says softly.

I ought to be embarrassed, to be half dressed, clinging to my wife, afraid to look her in the eye. But my fear of pulling up my clothes is stronger than that embarrassment. I just hide against her neck and hope she'll forget about it.

"Edward," she prompts, "you have to get dressed. Do you want me to help you?"

That tiny touch of seriousness when she says my name makes me whimper again. I don't want her to be angry with me, not now. I need her love so much.

"S'ok," I mumble, "I can do it."

It would be nice to have her help, her tiny hands sliding over my hips, her deft fingers fastening my flies. But, I am not a child, and I really do have to dress myself.

As I tug up the rough fabric, I try to remember that all my injuries are self inflicted, but that doesn't stop me cringing. Maybe it makes it worse. All this pain, and it's all my own damn fault.


	5. Chapter 5

We filed into the room for the family meeting.

I pulled out a chair for my beautiful wife, feeling that warm glow again. How wonderful it is to have her here, with me. My wife.

There have been so many of these family meetings where I have sat alone. There have been too many where I have sat alone and in disgrace, facing the rest of them down, feeling lonely and looking (and I am always very aware of how I appear to others) sullen.

Having Bella with me is still a novelty. I am not yet accustomed to having a wife at these moments. I like it very much. One day, I will have attended more meetings with Bella than before Bella. I wonder if I'm the only one who is counting down to that day.

I looked at my wife, whose presence makes even this situation bearable. Then she looked at me expectantly and I realised that she expected me to sit down.

Bella used to accuse me of 'dazzling' her to get my own way. I considered trying that now. But she didn't look like she was in the mood to be dazzled.

However, she has also accused me of 'puppy dog eyes', which are almost as effective. I can definitely muster a pathetic look right now. All I need to do is remember my current situation, I have red hot stripes across my rear end and my beautiful wife is expecting me to sit on a hard, wooden chair and chat to my family about my latest list of misdemeanors. If there was ever a moment to look pathetic, this is it.

I am pretty sure I got the look right, Bella gave me a sympathetic smile, but she still hissed "Edward, sit down."

Only one thing for it, I braced myself and sat down.

I almost jumped straight back up. It felt as though I'd set my backside on fire (but, no, Bella did a fine job of that, herself). Somehow I managed to stay in place. I bit my upper lip hard, to prevent me screaming for the fire brigade.

Lucky I did, because everyone else was walking into the room. They arrived in couples, as they always do, but that was absolutely fine because I had my very own wife sat right next to me. My wife.

 _Someone's pride sure took a beating,_ Jasper was thinking as he walked in, he was shocked by the intensity of the regret he was sensing, then his brain caught up with his gift. _Ah, yes, sorry, Edward, no need to give you a running commentary._ That was intended for me, but straight away his mind wandered again. _Typical that I would be assessing the emotions of the only person who can be offended by my thoughts._

I'm used to hearing my family's frustration with my gift, of course. But, right now, I was feeling rather raw. Jasper's grumbling thoughts felt like a slap in the face. I bit the inside of the cheek. My head was still bent, my face should have been hidden from view, but Jasper didn't need to see my expression to notice my shift in emotions.

 _Guilt, hurt, loneliness._ Jasper thought, once more naming the feeling first and noting the host later. _Edward, I'm not really upset. We're good. Bella's never spanked him before a meeting before. That obviously upset him. He's extra touchy. But, it's not just that. Did she use the . . . Ah, sort of lost control of my train of thought there, sorry, Edward. Um . . . change of topic. Shoes. Let's start on the top shelf and work down._

He began picturing Alice's shoes. Methodically listing the dates of purchase and how many times each pair had been worn. Alice would be proud. I should tell her, later, when all this was over. Of course Alice is tuned in to any mention of Jasper. As soon as I decided to tell her about his latest thought-taming technique, she saw me doing just that.

Alice and I watched her vision of me telling her about Jasper's new distraction technique.

 _Yes,_ she agreed in her mind, _I do like that idea. My Jazzy is such a sweetheart._

She kissed him on the cheek. She glanced over at me to reward me with a grin, but I didn't look her way.

I kept my eyes down, because I have seen Emmett and Jasper in similar situations often enough to know that my punishment can be clearly seen in my face. I know the look of a little boy whose backside has just been spanked, and I know that my family do too. If they look at my face, they will know. So I look down and plan to keep my mouth shut. I don't trust my voice not to tremble right now.

"Alright, then," Carlisle said, "we have a serious matter to discuss today. There have been a few problems with Edward attending Bella's class. Edward stole some exam papers and left them out in the classroom. They got passed around, and the exam will have to be rewritten. More worrying still, the school know that Edward to be responsible for a rather ingenious theft."

"I hate to say this, Edward, but I don't think there can be any doubt. You have broken the family rules, and there is going to have to be a consequence."

"I've dealt with that aspect of it," Bella said stiffly, saving me from having to discuss my punishment with my oldest friend.

Carlisle shook his head, "I don't wish to sound sceptical, Bella, but detention isn't really a suitable punishment for Edward. I understand it's what's considered appropriate for youngsters today, and have no intention of challenging your authority on school matters, but within the family Edward is going to require a stiffer penalty."

"I wasn't referring to the detention," Bella said.

Everyone's minds filled with images of what sort of punishment Bella might have meted out. Six different ideas of me getting a spanking. Six pictures of me bent over, getting my back side warmed up. None of them are very flattering. I close my eyes and search for Bella's mind, hoping she might be thinking of something, anything else. But her usual shield is in place. Fair enough, I certainly earned my spanking, so I suppose I haven't earned any respite from the images.

"Edward," Carlisle asked, "would you say that you had paid the penalty for your behaviour?"

He imagined that Bella had given me a couple of swats and left it at that. A fair assumption based on Bella's sweet nature. But not, as it happens, at all accurate.

He was hoping that I would be honest and opt to take the punishment I deserved. He was hoping that I was going to do the decent thing and admit that I deserved a proper punishment. It's not only Bella who has a high opinion of me.

I looked up, and let him see my face.

I said, "I believe that Bella did a thorough job. But, I understand the rules, it's not my place to rule on whether I require further chastisement, I think it's Bella's call." That's as far as I'm going to go. There is no way I'm asking for a public spanking.

Carlisle saw my face and, though he kept his own expression carefully neutral, I registered the shock in his mind. He thought that I looked very thoroughly thrashed, not a look he had ever expected Bella to put on my face. He didn't question what my punishment had been, for which I am thankful. He looked me in the eye, saw my meek expression and nodded. "Very well, shall we establish the consensus, then?"

Carlisle looked around the room to take everyone's opinion. This is probably the most humiliating part of these family meetings. Each member of the family is invited to comment on suitable consequences. Staring at the table and waiting for them all to pass sentence has always made me cringe, and sometimes made me argue, whine or even - on one occasion that is memorable for wholly terrible reasons - run. This time, though, I have my Bella. She even reaches out and offers me her hand under the table. I grab it like a drowning man and wish I could send her loving contact back to the man I am in my memories, who has sat through ordeals like this one, so many times, alone.

Esme was concerned about me, but she was also concerned for Bella, and didn't want to upset her by fussing over my completely deserved discomfort, so she contented herself with a nod.

Rose was wondering what Bella had done, shooting a few ideas around, but she didn't look at me to see my reactions, so I guess it was idle speculation rather than interrogation. She waved her hand to move the conversation along. She had no comments to make, which seemed incredible. I suppose she trusts Bella, but, even so, I would never have expected her to accept that I had ever been sufficiently punished for anything.

Emmett tapped the table once, as if we were playing poker. Carlisle smiled at him, always pleased to have at least one cheerful face at a family meeting. So often these meetings meant at least one of us was a bit sore.

Alice looked a bit confused, "Bella's punishment was enough,' she said aloud. But, in her thoughts she added, _I don't see a future where you're not getting a second spanking tonight, Edward. If you have any more schemes in mind, I strongly recommend dropping them._

Jasper, however, spoke, "um . . . I did have a matter of my own to raise," he said quietly.

"Of course," Carlisle replied warmly, he still thinks Jasper needs encouragement to speak up. "What's on your mind?"

Carlisle's desire to encourage any involvement whatsoever from the cagey soldier made me nervous. Would Carlisle agree with a request to see me receive further punishment just to make Jasper feel welcome?

Probably. And who could blame him? I've got away with so much nonsense over the years, an extra smacked bottom would barely disturb the scales of justice. It certainly wouldn't be enough to make me harshly treated. Whereas an opportunity to welcome an idea from Jasper is a rare thing and I know Carlisle would never pass one up.

Hey, on any other day, when I wasn't already stinging, I would probably vote in favour of getting my own ass warmed up in order to persuade Jasper to speak up more often.

Fortunately, that wasn't quite what Jasper had in mind.

"We all agreed that Edward should be disciplined for drawing attention to the family by messing around in Bella's class, but, I found out about it a week ago and I didn't tell anyone. I thought that I had better bring it up in the proper forum." He hung his head meekly.

Bella was the first to answer, "I think you're making something out of nothing. We don't tell each other's secrets unless we have to. You didn't want to break Edward's confidence. I understand that."

"But, if what he did was dangerous, then failing to warn you in advance was dangerous too," Jasper said.

He was tense and unhappy. He was thinking that if Bella wouldn't discipline him officially then she must consider him, and his behaviour, to be of too little importance. He was worrying, again, that the new members of our coven - family, Jasper, please - made us too large. Since Bella is my wife - my wife, always a delight to hear or think those words - Renesmee is my daughter - daughter, who would ever have predicted that? To think of my daughter is more than a delight, it is a wonderous miracle - and Jacob is . . . hmm . . . Anyway, since all the newcomers belong with me, Jasper reasons that the most logical couple to offload is himself and Alice. He dreads it, and yet he cannot stop himself imagining it.

All he wants is for Bella to scold him, bring him into line as any superior would do with a subordinate they planned on keeping.

Bella scowled, "you knew that he was planning it, you didn't know for sure that he would go through with it," she said, "you didn't join in or encourage him. You weren't a part of this. You're not obliged to disclose plans. What about Alice? She always sees what people are planning. I don't consider her to be involved everytime anyone misbehaves. You're not responsible for everyone's behaviour, either of you."

"It was a lie of omission," Jasper insisted, "and lying is a disciplinary issue."

This was about more than one minor disagreement. Jasper was wondering why Bella wasn't interested in his behaviour. He was wondering if she thought of him as being disconnected , if she considered him part of the outer circle of the family, someone whose behaviour didn't need monitoring.

Though Bella was trying to reassure him by comparing him with Alice, the effect was far from reassuring. Jasper heard Bella talking about himself and Alice as distinct from 'everyone', and was even more convinced that he'd been right.

He was imagining how it would be when he and Alice were alone again. I wondered why Alice wasn't seeing anything like that yet. She usually had one eye on Jasper's future, why was nothing showing her his concerns?'

"Alice?" I said, hoping she would step in and sort Jasper out herself. Surely if I could see him thinking this way, she sould be worried too.

But Alice shook her head, "if Jazz has been rude to Bella, she should deal with any necessary discipline."

Bella scowled. "There is no necessary discipline."

"Perhaps," Carlisle suggested gently, "we have different expectations of manners. Lying is dangerous for the family. We rely on each other too much to have anything but complete honesty. And Jasper is right, a lie of omission is still a lie."

Rosalie sighed, she had taken to playing Jasper's sister and grown rather protective of him, "just put him out of his misery," she said, "a quick word, a clip round the ear, I'm sure this won't happen again."

Bella scowled at us all. She wasn't a member of Team Encourage-Jasper-to-Speak-Regardless-of-What-he-Says (we need a shorter team name). Finally she said, "I will deal with Jasper as I see fit and you will all" she looked pointedly at Jasper here, guessing - absolutely correctly - that he was the one who would find it hardest to let this go, "respect that."

While our family murmered their agreement in varying tones, I could feel Bella glaring at me. I cringed inside. Fresh from my first real whipping from her, a harsh look from Bella was terrifying. She obviously blamed me for interfering, believed that she would have persuaded Jasper to let the whole thing drop if I'd sided with her.

I wanted to whimper an apology, lay my head on her lap and cry. I had only just been forgiven and now she was angry with me again.

What I needed to do - though thankfully not until a little bit later, when we were alone - was explain to Bella exactly why I had intervened in that style. I had to tell her - though it was rude to broadcast private thoughts, and would probably earn me my second ever whipping in pretty short order - what Jasper was thinking. She needed to know about his fears, so that she could help him.

It was obvious what needed to be done, but I had no idea how I was going to do it. At this moment, I could think of nothing more terrifying than trying to tell Bella something. I did not want anything remotely like a disagreement right now. I just wanted to be good, to show her how sorry I was, to be loved again.


	6. Chapter 6

Jasper looked nervous. True to form, he looked to Alice for guidance.

She scowled at him, "just remember," she said, "you asked for this."

Jasper's eyes widened.

 _What does that mean?_ He thought. _Is this going to be difficult to get through?_

 _What could Bella do that Alice would expect me to struggle with? Is it going to be very humiliating? It can't be physical pain. Alice knows I'd submit to a spanking without any qualms._

 _Are they going to make me leave? Is that what Alice means? I never asked for that, did I? I worried about it, but, did I ask for it?_

Alice glared at me too, _so did you,_ she thought.

Great. Now I was as confused as Jasper. What have I been asking for?

Well, if Alice saw me talking to Jasper, if she guessed how I manipulated him, that would count as asking for it. That was asking for a pretty serious whipping.

"Come on," Bella said, "both of you. We're going to my apartment."

She set off at a brisk stride.

Jasper and I trailed after her.

He was wondering why she was bringing me along at all. As far as he was aware, my punishment was over. So I must be there as some sort of audience.

 _Unless,_ he reasoned, _she's going to have Edward punish me. After all, he is stronger, not by much, mind. Alice might have been warning me about that. Submitting to Edward is going to be hard. I suppose I have been asking for that. So eager to understand the hierarchy of the coven, now I'm going to have it solidly impressed upon me._

 _In a way, it'll be a relief. At least I can stop wondering what happens if I cross him._

It is so lucky that I'm the only one who reads minds. If anyone else knew how edgy I make Jasper, this little problem would be the least of my worries.

 _Edward,_ he thought, having noted my slow speed and slightly careful run, _I'm sorry._

"Why?" I said, "you didn't tell me to do it. You warned me that I'd get spanked. You should be saying I told you so."

 _I did tell you so,_ he acknowledged, _but, I'm sorry I was right. It's not like I wanted you to be in this position._

We ran over to Bella's apartment. Most days it's quite a pleasant run, but today it just felt like a way of building up the tension.

Bella walked into her study without a word.

We didn't follow straight away. We loitered in the hallway, trying to prepare ourselves.

We hung back too long.

"Edward," my lovely, gentle, sweet wife hissed, "get your ass in here."

My ass shivered. There was only one reason for Bella to demand that I present that part of myself, and I was not looking forward to it.

 _Glad that tone isn't aimed at me,_ Jasper thought.

I glared at him before scuttling after my wife.

"Jasper," she added in a warning tone, though - worryingly - far more gently than she'd summoned me.

He stepped in smartly behind me.

 _What are they going to do with me?_ Jasper was worrying. _They've never seen any truly awful punishments. Maybe they don't know what's possible. Carlisle must have seen some stuff at Volterra, but Edward wasn't with him._

 _On the other hand,_ he allowed himself a slight mental shiver, _in a sense, Edward was there. He's seen everything from Carlisle's mind and a lot in mine. Over the years, I must have given him a lot of ideas. Maybe that's what he's been waiting for. That's why he never made a move before. He wanted to really know me, to know what would scare me._

I was so glad Bella couldn't see these thoughts. If she knew what I'd done to Jasper . . . forget spanking, I would be the first vampire to get a divorce. Bella loved our family, she would not forgive me torturing Jasper. And, I'd been taking advantage of this fear of his for years.

She sat down at her desk and I stood smartly before her again. Except this time, Jasper was standing next to me, even more smartly. Next to him - easily clicking to attention, like a practised soldier - I looked even more like an errant schoolboy than ever.

"Do either of you have anything else to say?" Bella asked.

"Just that I'm sorry," Jasper said, "I let the family down."

Trust Jasper to say something honourable. Making the rest of us - well, OK, me - look bad.

"Edward?" Bella prompted.

I sighed, "obviously, this is all my fault, and I never should have" what's the best word here? "er . . . asked Jasper to cover for me."

"Mmm," Bella said softly, "did you 'ask' him, Edward, or was it something else?"

What does she know?

What has she guessed?

What exactly is the right answer - by which I mean the one least likely to bring that ghastly cane back out - for me to give here?

"How about you stop trying to get out of trouble and just go with the truth?" Bella prompted me again, and she was very slightly smiling.

"Since when do you read minds?"

Bella was definitely smiling now, "I don't read minds," she said, "I read Edwards. Come on, just tell me exactly what you've been up to, and we'll sort it out together."

So long as you think that your wife bending you over and giving you a thorough beating counts as 'sorting it out together'.

 _Edward,_ she lifted her shield, and I heard the unmistakable music of her mind again, _I will have the full story, even if I have to beat it out of you._

I cringed and Jasper glanced over. _I thought you were done._ He thought 'at' me. _Am I intruding?_

"Bella," I started, "love . . ."

Jasper didn't look at me again, but he thought _Edward! Stop right there. That tone is riling her something awful._ Whatever he thought this conversation was going to become, it sounded as though Jasper was on my side for now, and offering tips. _Try to sound penitent, not like a used car salesman._

I had to resist reacting to that irritating comparison, or I would end up trying to explain this to Bella as well, and I don't think she'd like the idea of me getting emotional forecasts.

"I have made a lot of mistakes recently, and I'm sorry. I know that covering bad behaviour is shameful in itself."

 _Better,_ Jasper thought, _she's calmer and much more receptive now._

"How did you do it?" Bella asked me, "how did you persuade Jasper to cover for you?"

I said nothing and stared at the table.

"Jasper?" Bella tried.

He looked torn, his training to obey women at war with his respect for me as his coven superior, poor Jasper couldn't work out what he was meant to be doing, "um . . ." he said, "I shouldn't have covered for him, I see that now."

"That's not what I asked," Bella replied. "Alright, if you two won't tell me, I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess that Edward suggested that he was higher up in the coven hierarchy and Jasper had better do as he's told. Am I right?"

Jasper looked straight ahead, "I don't consider only obeying orders to be an adequate defence," he said.

"I don't consider you to have committed any offence at all," Bella replied, "yet here we are. Edward, is that what you did? Did you give Jasper orders?"

Technically, that's not what I did. But, I don't think Bella is going to let me off on a technicality.

"That was the basic idea," I said, "I really am sorry."

Bella nodded. "Edward, do you have any right to give Jasper orders?"

I shook my head.

"Edward," Bella prompted, "I need you to answer me clearly."

"No, ma'am," I muttered.

She sighed.

"Jasper," she said, "has anyone ever suggested that you should obey Edward."

"No, ma'am," he replied.

"Isn't it in fact quite the contrary," Bella went on, "haven't you been told, on numerous occasions, by various people, that this is a family, not a coven, and Edward is in no way a higher rank than you?"

"Yes, ma'am," Jasper replied miserably. He was wondering why he was such a fool, why he kept making the same stupid mistake.

"And yet, when he gets in a particular frame of mind, you find yourself responding to Edward as if he were your commanding officer."

"Yes, ma'am," Jasper said again.

"Bella," she said softly, "just Bella."

Though she was very gentle in her correction, Jasper was miserable. He was thinking that he couldn't even get scolded without messing up.

"Yes, Bella," he said.

Bella closed her eyes.

In Jasper's mind, I watched as Bella reached out to him, focusing on her feelings of affection and trust. It soothed him in a way no words could have done. Oh, my wife is incredible.

"Edward," Bella turned back to me, her tone strict again.

"I'm sorry _,"_ I whispered, before she said anything else.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked, softening slightly.

"I knew what I was doing to Jasper," I admitted, "of course, I did. I took advantage of his fears, I manipulated him, and all because it was convenient for me to have his compliance. I'm sorry, Jasper, I've been a rubbish brother."

 _Coven leader,_ he corrected me mentally.

"No," I said, for the first time in our relationship, finally coming clean and rejecting his unearned respect, "I've never been your leader, just a silly boy, messing about, because I could."

Jasper looked at me, utterly confused.

 _Shame, regret, relief,_ he summarised automatically, before catching himself, _sorry, Edward, you caught me by surprise._

"I think the two of you have a bit of talking to do," Bella said, standing up and walking back over to that awful chest.

I tensed and whimpered.

Jasper looked at me in surprise, made rather wary himself by my sudden burst of panic.

Before I planned on saying it, my mouth opened and started begging, "please, Bella, I'm sorry, please don't, not again, not right now."

Jasper was getting steadily more uncomfortable. But, he was determined to hold position and behave himself.

I was babbling again, sure that the cane was coming back - deservedly so, of course - sure I couldn't handle it a second time. Was Bella going to let Jasper watch me take my punishment this time? If she did, would she - please, saint that watches over felons, grant me at least this favour - let me remain clothed? Oh, Saint Leonard preserve me, was she going to let Jasper administer the punishment himself? I deserved it, obviously, but bending over and taking a whipping from Jasper - Major Jasper Whitlock, who had thrashed plenty of disobedient vampires before, who could keep a newborn army in line, he would never go as easy as Bella, even if he tried - that was a horrifying prospect.

Jasper's thoughts turned to me again, more gently this time. _Edward,_ he thought, _take a breath. You're in your wife's study, not an execution chamber. Calm down._

Bella didn't draw the blInd this time.I didn't know what that meant. Did it mean she was going to let me keep my clothes on? Did it mean I had lost any right to privacy due to the seriousness and the sheer arrogance of my offence? Or did it just mean that she was less worried about anyone glancing through the window at this time of night?,

When she walked back to the desk she was carrying something in her hands, but it wasn't the cane.

I gave a sudden sigh of relief. She wasn't holding the cane.

This time she was carrying a pile of paperwork. Had teaching got into her head? Was she going to set me an essay? Five thousand words on why good brothers don't manipulate each other?

Bella smiled at us both.

"I had this idea a little while ago, but I wasn't sure. I thought it might be too interfering. But, earlier this evening, Alice rang and said it would be a good idea," she laughed slightly, realising that Alice's' interfering had encouraged her own. "I guess there's no such thing as too interfering in this family. So, I'm going to go ahead and, Alice assures me, this is just what you need."

She passed over a couple of leaflets. I stared at mine I'm confusion. They appeared to be information leaflets about some charity that provided cheap houses for needy families.

"Do you want me to make a donation?" I asked.

Bella grinned, "not exactly," she said, "I'm not sure how big a donation would have to be to have any impact on you. I probably don't want to know. What had in mind was a bit more hands on. You're going to build a few houses."

I must have looked confused, because Bella added, "together, just the two of you."

I stole a glance at Jasper, wondering what he made of this plan, but he was continuing to face front. He said, "yes, Bella."

I still didn't understand, "is this my punishment?" I asked, wondering if there was more to come. If there was, I wanted to know about it.

Bella considered this. "No," she said, "I don't think that's quite the phrase. It's not optional, but I wouldn't call it a punishment."

"So," I grimaced, but went ahead, "do I have another punishment coming?"

"No, Edward, I'm not going to punish you for this. I want to fix it, not to scold you."

I didn't need to read Jasper's mind to know what he would ask, if he wasn't too well trained to speak up during a discipline session. Figuring it was about time I made an attempt at treating him decently, I said, "and Jasper?"

Bella smiled at me, though it wasn't as warm as the smile she gave my brother. She was pleased that I was asking on his behalf, not angry that I was being nosy. "As I said earlier, I don't consider Jasper to have committed any infraction at all."


End file.
